What is it?? You mean you're not good enough for the guy or something? Please shut the fuck up!
Being an amazing girl is so hard nowadays. You dont fit anywhere. People treat you like shit because they are so not used to see greatness in front of them, they are just not prepared to face it.. Jealousy is all around. Bull shit is the number one rule. TV conditions us SOOO much!! Everything is so ridiculous!
Life is great, but your eyes are so filled with crap, anger, envy and silliness that you dont even take the time to realize how lucky you are to be alive, to be surrounded by wonderful friends and family, to live in a country in peace..
My heart is full of fustration. I've been living my entire life in fantasies, never daring taking simple risks that could improve my situation. I've spent my time in books and magazines, listening to love songs and watching stupid teen soap operas. I used to think that Joey Potter from Dawson's Creek was the most amazing girl alive. I wanted to be her, to walk like her, to look like her, to be this stupid and made-up incarnation of the girl next door. The only thing is that, there is no Joey Potter. The girl is just another fucking character created by frustrated, ugly writers from Hollywood. And here is the thing: perfection is only an ideal. Lets not want to get close to it because it simply is impossible. Perfection was never created to be reached. It was only thought to make you feel more like crap every single day of your life...
The guy is simply gorgeous. He is 20 years old, dark-haired, tall and in great shape. He has the most beautiful smile, the greatest attitude. His look is so intense that it simply fastens the frequency of your heart beats..Chicks from the entire city are secretly in love with him. Yet, he is so grownded, nice and accessible. Not at all arrogant or over himself.. and he likes me.
Me??!!! Why?????? I know, I know: I'm cute, smart, nice and charming. Very sociable and down to earth. But we live in Paris, kid! They are tons of pretty ladies at every corner, way better than me who are waiting for you to give them french kisses in your favorite café and that willl die to hold you in their arms. Then why on Earth would you like ME?!
I've known him for three years. I've had a crush on him for three years. I've never had a conversation with him in three years. We've had great eye contacts, we stammered a few word to one another, we've kissed on the cheeks thousands of times (this is how european people say hi to one another, we are less familiar with hugs). We've been in zillions of parties together since we have so many friends in common, we smiled at one another a lot, we've been so embarrassed when we were left only together in a room or when we would meet in the street. Which leads me to the point that, in spite of all that, I hardly know the guy. I've been in love with an ideal. I've been in admiration with his gorgeousness. I dreamt about kissing him. But I dont know him.
Now isnt that being stupid??
What should I do people? Should I forget him and have regrets for the rest of my life or should I try to get to know him and having him realize that I'm not that great and being left high and dry without no guy to have a crush on?
Should I listen to my heart that tells me that he is a great one and to go for it, or listen to my brain that tells me that humiliation caused by his rejection would be worse than ever?
